No... my life isn't perfect.

My life is not perfect! I had a son that was STTN since week one and now gets up to nurse 2 or 3 times a night! He has never slepped during the day and for the first 3 months of his life, all he wanted was to be held, he would scream bloody murder if he was put down. My arms, back, and neck have seen better days. Lets face it, towing around 14 lbs all over the house every day is eventually going to start causing some soreness. The bright side are the killer guns I am getting on my biceps! :)

My life is not perfect because Mark and I argue. We argue because it's Monday and he forgot to put the Garbage out, we argue because it's Wednesday and I am so frustrated that he has to be home late again. We argue because it's Thursday and he has no clean shirts for work. Yes I failed to notice that he was down to his last shirt again and didn't put a load in the washer, but you know what I call that a marriage.

My life is not perfect because there are days that I don't even shower, I have about 20 loads of laundry that I still need to do, our bathroom is a mess, our living room has piles of baby clothes that I still need to fold and put away, there are dishes in the dishwasher that have been there all weekend. My house is pretty much in shambles right now. My life is not perfect because Mark is at work for about 10-12 hours most days. My life is not perfect because there are days that I don't have a warm dinner waiting on the table and we have to eat a PB & J sandwich. My life is not perfect because sometimes I forget to put a liner on Eli's bottle and I spill all my hard pumped breast milk, sometimes I forget to screw on a bottle onto the breast pump and I leak all over, and you know what sometimes I also forget to put a diaper on Eli and just zip up his sleeper and a minute later realize what I just did as I am getting soaked in pee!

My life is not perfect because there are days where I feel that I just can't do it. There are days that I feel lonely and helpless. I used to think that something was wrong maybe I was getting depressed but you know what I have come to realize that it's completely normal to feel like this because I AM NOT PERFECT and I don't have any problem admitting that. I feel that it's healthy for me to admit that sometimes I feel scared that I am not doing something correct or that maybe I could have done something better. I have my flaws and that's OK.

If my life where perfect, Eli would STTN, Mark would be home with us ALL DAY. My parents would live at least within the same Zip Code as us, I would be able to take half hour showers every day, the house chores would do themselves and dinner would be ready on the table every night! But maybe if things were perfect life wouldn't be perfect because it would then be boring. I Love my UN-perfect life and fact that each day is different.

So no my life is not perfect but you know what it's ok, because to me it's perfect in every way. Although my parents don't live close, they call every day to check up on us and I know they would drop everything in a heartbeat if I ask. I have a very beautiful UN-perfect son who does NOT sleep through the night and occasionally still screams to be held. I also have a handsome and supporting husband who forgets to put out the trash but also tolerates my moodiness and still tells me he loves me even at my worst. At the end of the day I put our son in his bassinet right next to me. I lay down in my husbands arms and he hugs me tight! Everything I need is within my reach. Now that is what I call perfect!

How can I complain when I have this to look at daily!

and this waiting for me in bed!

On a side note, Eli and I have been doing a lot more reading now, I think he finally likes it and really gets into some of the books.

I had also mentioned that he had tri-podded. Here is a pic of him doing it, he can tri-pod for about 10 seconds now before tipping over! He will be sitting on his own before we know it!