Now with that said, I know I was HORRIBLE at my blogging the last half of 2010. I got a lot of complaints from some family members and some friends that apparently did religiously check our blog... I thought I was just writing for myself and my mom ;) So thank you guys and I promise to be better this year. I guess this first post will be for me... There are a few things I would like to get out there and maybe a few of you have suggestions for me :)
First of all, I want to say that we are officially a family of FOUR!!!!! Yup, we welcomed our little girl Myla Faith on Christmas Eve of all days! But I promise to write a birth story soon so I can start documenting everything again!
Eli is currently 17 months old and is having a hard time adjusting to being a big brother. He does run to Myla when she cries and doesn't try to hurt her or anything but he does get upset when I am holding her and can't hold him. I am hoping this passes soon because it is really hard on me having to watch him cry on the floor, I feel like he thinks he was replaced which breaks my heart. I try and kiss him, hug him, and just plain love on him as much as I can but he obviously knows that things are different now. But anyway a post on just Eli later too! ;)
And now on to me and why I have been MIA. In all honesty I had a harder time with Myla's pregnancy than I ever did with Eli. The last couple of months were probably the hardest, I ended up getting morning sickness in the last tri and she hung out pretty low the entire time which caused a lot of pain and discomfort for me, not to mention taking care of Eli with a Belly was not the easiest task. The kiddo does not stop for a second and is constantly getting himself into trouble! I also had a very hard time emotionally. Mark has been gone for work a lot and is working pretty much 7 days a week now (he does get an occasional weekend off a month) but he is gone more than he is ever home. He gets home on average around 6:30 -7:30 we eat, on the days he can play with Eli he does, he puts Eli to bed at 8:00 pm and then we go to bed, He gets up at 4:30 am and is gone before I ever even get up. I spent the last half of 2010 very emotional because I felt like a single mom and I am having a very hard time getting used to the idea that at least the start of 2011 doesn't look like it will be any different other than now I have a newborn and a toddler to look after. I know I sound like I am exaggerating but really he is gone all the time... Even on Christmas Eve, I was in active labor and already at 6 cm dilated and he had to leave the hospital for an hour and a half to go into the office! So all you crazy ladies/mommies that follow please pray for me... Please pray that God gives me patience, energy, and strength to get through this emotional hump I have hit. With all the crying I have been doing lately and how down I feel half the time I fear I will end up getting post-partum depression or something like that. I need to be able to feel ok for our babies and I try, I really try to stay optimistic, I try and keep my mind occupied and I try and get together with my support group but eventually it all gets to me and I end up breaking down. Eli saw me break down a few times and I could tell he was concerned so I have been very good about holding it in but I know that is not good for me either to keep it bottled up. I pray at night myself and occasionally during the day, I know I will get through these feelings I just hope it is fast. If any of you have gone through this and have any suggestions please call me, email me and let me know what you did to overcome them.
I am so sorry that things have been so tough for you & will of course keep your family in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteI hate to say that I know how you feel because I am sure that doesn't help but; I do know how you are feeling. Lance leaves in the morning at 7 & gets home each night between 8-9 which is usually after B is in bed & it is very hard to feel like a single mom when you are married & pregnant. The emotions tend to build up because you are trying to be strong for your family but when they get to be too much then a breakdown occurs that can be scary & inconsolable. I know I am not even in the same state but if you need my I am an email away!!!! Stay strong & again you are all in my prayers!!
P.S. - Where did you get Eli's t-shirts for his months; I haven't been able to find anything like that at all & really didn't want to stop with them after 12 months!!
Congratulations!! Your daughter is absolutely precious and Eli is growing up so fast! He's incredibly cute looking more and more like a little boy and not so much a baby.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've been going through a rough patch and not feeling so well. Just remember that this too shall pass. Think positive and everything will work itself out. You've got 2 beautiful kiddos who love you very much and you need to be strong for them. They need their Mommy, not only to be happy but to be their for them.
I went through some sad times in the beginning when Jaslyn was a newborn, I'd cry for no reason at all. My hubby also works a lot and it's hard staying home doing the same thing over and over and not getting a break from it at all but I noticed that once I started doing fun things with the kids and getting out, going to play dates and keeping busy it helped not feeling so lonely. Keep your head up and keep blogging, vent out to us....We'll listen :) Hugs to you and the kiddos!
Happy New Year!!