Some News & A Scare

So I think it's time Mark, Eli & I share some exciting news! We are pregnant with our second baby and due January 2, 2011. Although most of our immediate family and close friends already know, we (or I) weren't really making a big deal about it until we hit 13 weeks, or the 2nd trimester. Call me superstitions, paranoid, weird, whatever you want but somehow I have that time frame in the back of my mind that as soon as we hit that mark that everything is and will be ok, that we are set, we are good! We are one day shy of hitting 11 weeks already and every day that passes I thank God for getting me one day closer to 13 weeks. Hmmm... as if 13 weeks were really it.

Let me just say that I had an AWESOME pregnancy with Eli with only minor issues here and there, I never really had to go through morning sickness, my biggest thing was the metallic taste in my mouth that made me gag. I felt great pretty much the entire pregnancy aside from sleepiness in the first trimester and then we had the emergency C-section at the end because the little guy was not moving, and turns out I had had an abruption. All in all, I feel it went pretty smooth and feel very blessed for having such a healthy pregnancy and baby! Well with that said let me admit that with Eli I was a complete nutcase, everything made me paranoid, every little twinge I felt (Ligament Pain) I freaked and would call the doctor, you name it I was paranoid about it. With this second pregnancy I have been the complete opposite, very laid back about it and actually enjoying it, I have felt even better with this one which is hard to believe since I think I lucked out with the first. I have gotten sick 3 times altogether, I do have the metallic taste in my mouth but not as bad as I did with Eli, I hardly ever gag. I do have an excess amount of saliva that I could honestly do without but hey if that is the worst I will get, I'll take it. I do feel exhausted at the end of the day, but I think part of it has to do with running after an almost 11 month old all day. Anyway the point is, this pregnancy has been even better I can honestly say that I have truly been enjoying it. So much in fact that most nights I lie in bed just thinking if it was too good to be true. After praying each night, I thank God for giving me enough energy to chase after our little monster, enough energy to "sometimes" make my hubby dinner and "sometimes" clean the house, but then think to myself how lucky I have been. Well I think I was becoming pretty smug, almost cocky about how great I have felt. I have a friend who is also pregnant and every time she asked how I was doing after revealing that she felt so would nauseated and horrible, I would just kinda smile smugly and say I feel great. I was not trying to be mean or rub it in her face, the fact is that I do feel great most days and I am happy about it.

Now... rewind pretty much my entire life. One of my biggest fears (along with accidents) is miscarrying. Why miscarrying of all things, well because it hits so close to home, my mom miscarried a few times after having me, that she finally went onto fertility medication and six & seven years later she had my sisters. Anyway with how much I have always wanted to have children I have always feard this. I know it's a pretty dumb thing to worry about because we are NOT in control, only God knows what will really happen and I think it is pretty pointless to worry about things that are out of our reach and that we can't control. What will happen will happen no matter what we do to try and prevent it... However, yes I am still paranoid about it and I do worry.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I had to go through as I saw one of my biggest fears right in front of me. I started bleeding... heavily with some clotting. When I realized what was happening, everything started clicking into place. I had been spotting for about a week, I had been having extreme back pain to the point where I was too uncomfortable to sleep. I started running around the house in a panic putting the dog behind the gate, looking for my wallet, my keys, my phone. I called Mark right away and told him I thought I was losing the baby that I was going to the ER, and ran out the door. I had made it about 4 minutes when I was at the first intersection and realized that I was barefoot, I had left in such a hurry that I never even realized I had no shoes on even with the hot cement outside. Since I wasn't too far away I decided to turn around and get. Anyway I cried the entire way to the hospital and once there I couldn't even speak to let them know what was wrong. They didn't even sit me, they just took me right in which was good. They did all the good stuff, blood work, BP, temp, HR and then they asked me to pee in a cup. I went ahead and just lost it when all I saw were clumps of blood. I was so positive that we were losing the baby. Well I am not going to go into everything that was going through my head, I just felt very angry and kinda numb (not sure if that is the word) but just out of it, I didn't feel like it was me, like I was just looking in on something. They wheeled me away to get an ultrasound which was very hard on me since they told us that Mark couldn't go that he had to stay in the room. I cried to so much the tech had to give me water to calm down so she could get the pictures they needed. After about 10 minutes I think she felt bad and said we are not suppose to say anything or show you anything but I understand how worried you must be but your baby is perfect! Then she turned the screen and yes, our child is perfect, I was able to see the little heart flickering away and the baby kicking and squirming around everywhere. Everything was already completely formed and you could make out every body part perfectly! So then I started crying hysterically again this time from happiness, from relief, joy. I felt so bad for feeling angry and for feeling like I had lost my faith that everything was ok. I understand that there are a million things out there that are far worse than this, but at this time in my life, at this very moment, my husband, Eli, and this baby are what is important to me. This child is already so much a part of our lives, we have already started planning for him/her. I talk to Eli every day about his new baby brother/sister and although I was not making a big deal yet, I have grown very attached to this baby already. Anyway after all those tests, the doctor came in and told us I had a Corpus Lutem Cyst in my ovary that ruptured (which is why I bled). Everything seems to be perfect with our baby. Mark is healthy, I am healthy, our families are healthy (for the most part... I think we could do without some Cholesterol for some people) :) and Eli is happy, causing trouble daily which only means he is a healthy growing boy! Now that I wrote an essay, I just want to say how Thankful I am that God has such a strong presence in our lives, I am so thankful that he has made everything ok, I am so thankful that he has given us all that we have now, and I pray that he continues to bless me with a healthy pregnancy.

For now, I introduce Baby P. Number 2

And now a few pictures of our other baby causing trouble, he loves the dishwasher and thinks it's for him to play with. As soon as he sees it open he rushes over there and is all over it, his latest is actually getting on it!

This one is for the heck of it, he does not hear the word "no" from mommy too much and when he does, this is the face I get.

And this one is just because I love it! I plan on blowing it up and putting it up in our living room!